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Relationship Building

  • Humans are evolved to be social beings that need companionship for life.
  • Relationship is part of humanity that we all needs to keep us satisfied.

  • Yet most people learn how to build relationship by trial-and-error without any guidance of what truly works.
  • This often leads to discontentment and dissatisfaction in relationships, divorce or fights.

  • The good news is that there are skills in relationship-building that work in life without the pain.
  • The secret is that if we all know how, it would be wonderful!

How to Build a Relationship?

  • The foundation of a relationship is the human bonding.
  • We all seek to bond with someone who we care and love.
  • Research shows that humans and other social animals all share this same common trait — especially birds who often mate for life.

  • Building a satisfying relationship requires skills, knowledge, compassion and intrinsic compatibility and intuition.
  • Without any one of these ingredients, relationships often become dissatisfying and/or dysfunctional.
  • The key to build long-lasting, satisfying relationship is to know the “know-hows” that keep you from making unnecessary mistakes.

What are the Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships?

  • A satisfying relationship is a functional relationship — a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship.
  • A dissatisfying relationship is a dysfunctional relationship — either a co-dependent or a counter-dependent relationship
  • An unsatisfying relationship is non-functional relationship — the dead relationship that people often hang onto in misery without knowing it.

  • A healthy relationship is an inter-dependent relationship in which both persons share each other and benefit both in the process.
  • An unhealthy relationship often occurs in co-dependent or counter-dependent relationships that is detrimental to each person.

What are the Different Types of Relationships?

  • A inter-dependent relationship is a relationship that thinks positively of each other, adds to the other person, support each other emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually without subtracting anything away from each other.
  • A co-dependent relationship is a relationship that uses each other, blame each other, suck on each other, often thinks negatively of each other, yet unable to separate or live without the other, and completely dependent on each other for survival.
  • A counter-dependent relationship is a relationship that rejects any dependency or needs for another person; tends to live in isolating especially psychologically without sharing any inner thoughts or feelings.

Which Type of Relationship is the Most Satisfying and Long-Lasting?

  • The relationship that is both satisfying and long-lasting is the healthy inter-dependent relationship.
  • The relationship that lasts for a long time by hanging on to it forcibly and manipulatively but extremely unsatisfying is the unhealthy co-dependent relationship.
  • The relationship that is neither satisfying nor lasting is the unhealthy counter-dependent relationship.

What are the Ingredients in Relationships that Make them Most Satisfying and Long-Lasting?

  • To make a relationship last and satisfying, you have to create a healthy inter-dependent relationship.
  • It also takes more than a functional inter-dependent relationship to make life satisfying and happy.

  • That's because a relationship that is incompatible is also a painful relationship because neither person can get what they want — their wants and needs are never met.
  • That's why most relationships fail, not because they don't have the skills to do it, but because their relationship is incompatible.

How Can You Learn to Form Long-Lasting and Satisfying Relationships?

  • If you are in a relationship, we can coach you to make your relationship healthy and functional.
  • If you are not in a relationship, we can help you learn the skills and knowledge in coaching to form a healthy relationship once you found that person.
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